So to begin with this article I will keep the same question before you as I had put in the part 1 of this article : Does time actually heal everything or it is just in our minds that a lot of time has passed and it is actually wise to move on? Most of the times this is the fact. We are always in a dilemma to decide between sticking to something and moving on with time. Choice is always ours. The earlier we make that choice, the happier we will be. Does time heal all wounds ? There are certain wounds which do not get healed with passing time. And here I do not mean the physical wounds, as they mostly do. I am talking about the psychological and emotional wounds. It has to be us ultimately who need to cover them up with the mud of time. These wounds might not leave any physical scar after they heal, but there is always an internal knot which is developed that is hard enough to dissolve.
I usually feel it difficult to console people. Although I stand with them in their times of need and losses but what to actually tell them to make them comfortable is something which is difficult because I know that during my depressing and painful times words don’t help me either. Their consoling words do not seep in. Ultimately I myself have to help myself out of the situation that I am in. We all need to help our own selves otherwise we will stop living by remaining stuck at the same place forever.
Emotional wounds do not get healed but with passing time we get the sense of bearing the pain and smiling with that pain, mostly hiding it from others. Memories of our loss remain with us and instead of fading away they get imprinted deep within us. The intensity of crying over the bad times becomes a little lesser than before because somewhere the idea of acceptance seep in as we move ahead from the phase of denial.
We grow wise with passing time. There is a whole lot of learning that we get while we are tackling with our wounds. There is always this internal immunity towards the bad times that every being on this earth has. If we learn this concept with the help of science, it will be simpler for us to understand.
Whenever any foreign substance or antigen infects our body there is a development of antibodies in our body which fight against that antigen and remove it from the body. When the same antigen infects the body the second time, due to the memory of the cells, antibodies which are already present in the body developed from the previous attack fight against that antigen. And time taken to heal from that attack the second time is lesser than it was the first time. This is the natural defense mechanism of our body. This mechanism is also applicable to the bad phase of our life.
Sometimes we pretend to be matured enough to deal with our sufferings. Be it difficult but we find a way to come out of it with the help of the natural healing process. We sometimes rescue ourselves from the things that give us pain. There might be no healing but their is running away from our sufferings. We rescue ourselves from the person or place or thing that gives us pain. We run away from that. This is also one of the mechanisms which help us cope up with the pain. But with passing time we learn how to deal with it without rescuing, rather fighting with it being there. Sometimes a bigger pain minimizes the previous pain.
There is no life known to us which is lived without sensing some pain. Just the level and the timing of pain differs for all of us. Ultimately we all have to deal with it. And yes the most important factor is the sense of awareness of the same that we gain with passing time. Nothing comes to us so easily—not even understanding and maturity.
I have seen children who are on chemotherapy. It is really easy for them to deviate their minds from their pain to something else which gives them joy. Their weeping over an injection or a drip is only momentary. Once you give them a toy or a chocolate bar, they will forget about their pain. A smile will be back on their face. It is really hurtful seeing those children go through such pains but one thing we need to learn from them is their coping power, their ability to let pain go. They are excellent in letting things go. Why is it so hard for us when we get matured? Why do we stick to our pains? With maturity should come wisdom. And we need to become wise in order to become matured. Time should make memories stronger and fonder but it should not make things difficult for you to let go. Healing does not mean forgetting. We do not need to forget those memories which were associated with the person or the thing that we have lost.
Remember your love for them and make that love your strength.
Healing comes naturally and we cannot teach it to anyone. The only thing that we can do is to learn it on our own. It is something which has to be self learned. It can not be forced. Tears cannot be dried off by simply saying – Stop crying. It will happen gradually and ultimately. The only thing that is needed is some time for the person to come on grounds of acceptance. What had to happen has happened and nobody could have changed that for you — not even you.
So closing lines are that time does not heal everything but it is you who heal it with your power of awareness, acceptance, deep inner work, maturity and healing. It is us who can get ourselves out of any vulnerability and not time on its own. We have to be more easy on us to let things go. Give ourselves some room to grow. All of us are aware of our capabilities and capacities so give ourselves that space to heal at your own pace without being dependent on the external help.
So again the question is- does time heal all wounds? And the answer is—
“You are your own healer, time is mere time.”
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